How I Am Doing

I have not posted a blog in a long, long time. Truth is I have been extremely busy. I know people say that a lot, and do not really mean it, but it is true for me. I am in the middle of selling my house to move closer to where I work. That coupled with working 12 hours a day and spending 2 or more in the gym, after work, 4 days a week, does not leave a lot of time for writing the awesome blogs that Myspace deserves.

I decided instead of the funny, comical or insane blogs I have posted in the past I would post about my life as of right now, how do I feel in this moment. Because, that is what is true for most people. If you have to think about it too hard, then most of the time it isnt true and you guys deserve my true feelings and emotions, otherwise why am I doing this?

First, my second wedding anniversary was June 20. Wow, 2 years! It really does not seem like it has been that long. I guess that is what happens when you find someone that completes you like Phaedra does me. My father always said we compliment each other very well. That she strengthens all my weaknesses, and I show her a little bit of life in a different light, and sometimes thats all it takes to change each others world. My father always had weird wisdom but when you least expect it, it would suddenly make sense.

Speaking of my father, I am doing a lot better with dealing with the loss now. My brother is too, hell we can laugh and talk about him again without tearing up. I still have my moments where the emotion is so overwhelming that I have to cry a little, but that's just dad's little way of picking on my tender heart. I miss him a lot but as he would always say "It is what it is" pick up and move on. Then he would break into a horrible rendition of "Aint Nobody Gonna Break My Stride" and do his patented Gossett shuffle. Ah, those were the Good Ol Days.

Speaking of my brother, he graduated this year. Something not a lot of people on my father's side of the family were known for. I am so proud of the man he is becoming. We both grew up hard but in many ways, he had it worse than I did. Yet, he still did what he needed to do. Sure, he has a lot of growing up to do but, shit I did not wake up and stop being stupid until I was damn near 20 years old. Therefore, I have no room to say anything, except that I will always be there for him. No matter what, he is my number one dogg and nothing or no one will ever change that. We are closer than any 2 people could ever be. We have the same Unity Cross tattooed on the same arm to signify the unity of us as brothers and family. It will be that way forever. If you are reading this Fat Cat, I love ya boy.

Now about my wife, It's funny because people always say when you meet the right person you'll know it, and I'm here to tell you that is as true as the day is long. However, what they do not tell you is that the person will not always feel the same way. When we first met she had just came out of a really bad relationship. And myself? Well lets just say I had just woken up from a "really bad dream about life". So when we first met and decided to begin dating she was really hesitant to call me her boyfriend or even acknowledge the fact we were dating. Never mind the 3-hour trip she was making just to see yours truly. So when a job came up at the place her brother worked she insisted that I apply for it. Which I did, and I am still working at that same company.

Anyway, the next thing I know we are looking at apartments and moving in together. It was weird because it was so fast but it felt like the perfect thing to do. The same happened with getting married. It was Valentines Day of 2004, we started talking about getting married, and before we knew it, we were looking at rings. It was as if supernatural forces were pushing us into the jewelry store. I even knew the manager and got us a great deal on a ring. Now I know this is not the romantic When Jaws pops out of the water or down on one knee proposal but hey it is what it is. And in the end it worked out pretty good.

Now 2 years of being married have gone by and not much has changed. We are looking for our second house and selling our first. We are getting in the position to start a family and that, my friends, is cool. I cannot wait to be a daddy. I think I would be a great father. I am 26 now so I guess I need to hurry up before I end up too old to enjoy life with my kids when they are my age.

Ok, I am done rambling. I just wanted to throw a blog together that shined a little light on how I am doing in this Rat Race we call Life. So in closing I just want to say, to my wife and brother and the rest of my family, I love you all very much. You all helped through what I knew would be the worst day of my life, and that will always mean the world to me.

To Pops, I know you can hear me up there. Put the golf club down , and listen. You are still my dogg and I miss you everyday. You will never be forgotten, and my kids and my kid's kids, will always know who you are and how much of an impact you had on those around you. You always had the ability to make us smile no matter the situation, and I see you passed that duty on to Nyles. Because, all he does is make us laugh but then again you know how crazy we are. We Love ya Pops and we will forever miss you. May you always be in our hearts, minds, and prayers. Until we meet on the other side, You take care of things up there and we will take care of things down here. I love ya Pops.

Until words rack my brain again, Im out!

Nick