Things I Have Said At Least Once This Week
- Do NOT put that in your mouth.
- Don’t stand on the table.
- Stop yelling.
- See how daddy's pee-pee goes in the toilet.
- That’s not nice.
- No matter how long you cry, you’ll still have to take a nap.
- You don't want a cracker?? But that’s what you just asked me for.
- Do you have poop pants?
- STOP.SAYING.NO.
- Why did you put that in there?
- Hahaha. Ok, really, don’t honk Mommy’s boobies. Hahahahahaha.
- Seriously, you really did just ask me for this exact thing, why are screaming no when I try to give you what you wanted?
- That is NOT edible.
- I have no idea what you’re talking about. Repeating doesn’t help.
- If you stand on that again I'm taking it away from you.
- No, we are not going in the car. We just got out of it.
- No, Daddy doesn’t doesn't like it when you stick your fingers in his ears
- Why are you being so loud?
- Get your fingers out of your mouth.
- Why did you spit that out?
- Do you want a knuckle sandwich??
- No, No only daddy flushes the toilet.
- Yes, you have to clean the food off of your hands...no saving it for later.
- Please do not lick your hands...God only knows where they have been.
- No, son that's not a toy, that is a tampon. Give it back to Mommy, please.
- Do not try to drink your entire cup of milk in one loooong sip please...
- Don’t hit people in the head!
- What is that smell? Is that you??
- I have no idea what you’re trying to say. I’m as frustrated as you are, REALLY.
- Yes buddy that is Kroger....(The 5th one we've passed now)
- Son believe it or not....Some people don’t like it when you yell at them.
- Say you’re sorry. You need to say, “Sorry for throwing my car at you, Mommy.”
- Cry all you want I'm still not going to let you eat your crayons.
- You are not supposed to ride on that.
- It’s really not nice to smear your cereal bar and crackers on the mirror.
- That ball will not come out from under the sofa no matter how loudly you scream at it.
- I refuse to speak to you until you stop crying and screaming.
- HEY!! SIT IN YOUR BIG BOY CHAIR NOW!! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT...(Followed by a list of everything he's done wrong all day)
- NO SIR!! SIT BACK DOWN!! (As he smiles and runs away)
- I think you I've said NO for the 239,785,349,823rd time. Please Stop it or I will spank you.
- How many times did daddy say stop it, before he spanked you.
- I know you like it when I pass the ther cars buddy but daddy can't pass every car on the interstate.
- Stop smacking mommy, She's trying to sleep.
- No this is daddy's you have your food. (Cue excessive dramatic hyperventalating crying and a couple tears forced out)
