Things I Have Said At Least Once This Week

• Do NOT put that in your mouth.
• Don’t stand on the table.
• Stop yelling.
• See how daddy's pee-pee goes in the toilet.
• That’s not nice.
• No matter how long you cry, you’ll still have to take a nap.
• You don't want a cracker?? But that’s what you just asked me for.
• Do you have poop pants?
• STOP.SAYING.NO.
• Why did you put that in there?
• Hahaha. Ok, really, don’t honk Mommy’s boobies. Hahahahahaha.
• Seriously, you really did just ask me for this exact thing, why are screaming no when I try to give you what you wanted?
• That is NOT edible.
• I have no idea what you’re talking about. Repeating doesn’t help.
• If you stand on that again I'm taking it away from you.
• No, we are not going in the car. We just got out of it.
• No, Daddy doesn’t doesn't like it when you stick your fingers in his ears
• Why are you being so loud?
• Get your fingers out of your mouth.
• Why did you spit that out?
• Do you want a knuckle sandwich??
• No, No only daddy flushes the toilet.
• Yes, you have to clean the food off of your hands...no saving it for later.
• Please do not lick your hands...God only knows where they have been.
• No, son that's not a toy, that is a tampon. Give it back to Mommy, please.
• Do not try to drink your entire cup of milk in one loooong sip please...
• Don’t hit people in the head!
• What is that smell? Is that you??
• I have no idea what you’re trying to say. I’m as frustrated as you are, REALLY.
• Yes buddy that is Kroger....(The 5th one we've passed now)
• Son believe it or not....Some people don’t like it when you yell at them.
• Say you’re sorry. You need to say, “Sorry for throwing my car at you, Mommy.”
• Cry all you want I'm still not going to let you eat your crayons.
• You are not supposed to ride on that.
• It’s really not nice to smear your cereal bar and crackers on the mirror.
• That ball will not come out from under the sofa no matter how loudly you scream at it.
• I refuse to speak to you until you stop crying and screaming.
• HEY!! SIT IN YOUR BIG BOY CHAIR NOW!! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT...(Followed by a list of everything he's done wrong all day)
• NO SIR!! SIT BACK DOWN!! (As he smiles and runs away)
• I think you I've said NO for the 239,785,349,823rd time. Please Stop it or I will spank you.
• How many times did daddy say stop it, before he spanked you.
• I know you like it when I pass the ther cars buddy but daddy can't pass every car on the interstate.
• Stop smacking mommy, She's trying to sleep.
• No this is daddy's you have your food. (Cue excessive dramatic hyperventalating crying and a couple tears forced out)

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous