Happy Anniversary My Dear
When your life makes it hard to believe in anything, it seems silly to
believe in fate. It seems like a silly idea built on hope, and desperation. Yet, I
can find no other reason why we ever met, or no other reason why we’re still together.
Neither of us could have imagined we would meet someone special on some random
silly website. I had even forgotten I was ever a part of that website. Even
then, it probably should not have been. We were miles away, you were a city a
girl, and I was a country boy. Your life was taking you in so many different
emotional directions from the one before me. I was just lost in life. We were
as likely to never even know the other existed as we were to end up as we are
now. And yet, as ridiculous as it sounds, I knew the very moment I saw you that
we would be together forever or I would end up the troublemaking redneck I
always imagined I would be.
It still amazes me, the weird road we traveled in that first
year and how we managed to navigate it to the point where we actually had a
relationship. We put countless miles on
our cars, we ate too much restaurant food, we did ridiculous things for… well… love.
If not for love–I don’t know what…Perhaps a mental illness of some sort. I had just left a life, I thought I was doomed
to live forever, to be in world of
confusion, and moved back to a place I hated. You were just coming out of a crazy
relationship and heartbreak of your own. Nothing seemed right.... Except those long
Friday nights either of us spent driving up I-75/85, through the darkness in the
boondocks, anticipating the moment we were together again. Those were the first times
in my life I felt right, felt whole, and knew this was exactly where I wanted
to be forever. Driving too fast through midtown Atlanta, Spaghetti Junction, stopping
at Quik-Trip for a hotdog and a soda, and finally into the only place that made
me happy. You driving to my house in the middle of nowhere, 20 miles away from anything. If I didn't believe in love before that, I was sold then. It didn't
matter to us if you had to work the next day. It didn't matter if you or I had to
turn around and drive back the next day. We did whatever it took… I’d like to think we
would still do it today if we had to.
Most women would have never left home and moved into a new
apartment 2 months into a relationship. Most women would have left me on the spot for not pulling
out a ring and getting on one knee while proposing marriage. Most sane women
would have never married a guy like me only after a year together. Most women
would not have put up with everything you have endured with me. From my crazy
parents, to my crazy history, my brother, my father, and not forgetting my
harsh brutal honesty at times. But it’s been
clear for so many years that you are not only unlike other women, you’re unlike
most people.
No, you’re not perfect. You lose your mind when you get
hungry and nobody will pick a restaurant, you occasionally go off in ways I
don’t understand, and you don’t like steak or your food touching. These things
notwithstanding, I can’t imagine myself traveling this admittedly odd path with
anyone else. Even in your imperfections, I find beauty. Your passion for what
you do, your patience, and your endurance to just keep going day after day are
hard to fully comprehend. You have taken all of those things and used them to become the
mother that every child wants. Our children are so lucky.
When we had kids, I thought it could drive us to be the
people we made fun of and hated. I thought it might suck the air from our
passion and our spontaneous “fly by the seat of our pants” life and make us
dull. Instead, parenthood has only made me love you more–so much more that I sometimes
feel like some middle school weirdo with a crush.
Nine years ago, I could not comprehend nine years of marriage,
it seemed like an eternity. I could not imagine being in my mid-30's, a father of
two kids, and in an odd job that keeps me at home with our kids and somehow
still manages to pay the bills. On this day nine years ago, I was on a golf
course with my father, playing the worst game of my life, wondering if I was even
cut out for marriage. Less than twenty-four hours later, I was married to you and I was the
happiest man I knew. I have remained that way from that day until now.
I don’t know what will happen in the next ten years. I know life
has dealt us some good hands, some playable hands, and some hands we should
have folded without even looking at the cards. I don’t know what the next 9,
20, or even 30 years holds. I don’t know what trials and tribulations, joys and
pains, or problems we will have to endure. I only know this:
I would not believe in love if it were not for you. I would
not be the man I am, I would not have the smile I have, or the 2 boys I love
more than life itself…If not for you. No matter what life brings, as long as I
have you…it’s nothing…
So Happy Anniversary my dear…Today is our day and hopefully, God willing,
we will have many, many more to come. I love you!
